About a year ago, I left my home church to be at my in-laws’ church, but that didn’t seem to work out so I went to another church. Eventually, I noticed I wasn’t comfortable at any church. My husband and I started having issues when we started to put God in the back seat. We weren't seeing eye to eye and I later kicked him out of our home. I was tired of being the only one in my family serving the Lord and doing what was right.I was tired of the perfect image everyone had of me when, really, I was crying inside. I was just as much afraid as they were, but at that time, I didn’t understand that God choose me to be the leader in my family. So, I stopped trying and slowly began to fall back into my old ways. I started to drink wine-nothing major…until it got worse. I started to take heavier stuff, like drugs. It was like I was 15 all over again.
One day I found myself hung over my toilet, throwing up. Even though I was heavily intoxicated, I could clearly hear my kids behind me saying, “Mommies dying!” I laughed at what they were saying at first, seeing it like they were over exaggerating, but then I realized that they were right. I was dying. My flesh kept demanding what my spirit didn’t want and my time was running out. That night I threw up all the drugs my body had consumed in the time I had separated myself from the Lord. A week later, I remember my husband and I pouring a full bottle of liquor down the kitchen sink and vowing not to every do it again.
My husband and I drunk together for the first time in the 6 years of us being married. It had happened about twice during this time period, and since we met in church and God is all our marriage knew, we knew it wasn’t us. As the days went by, my husband and I spoke about going back to our home church where we met to find the Godly desires we had lost. That Sunday I walked up the hill with my kids, but not just any hill, a hill that at the end was my salvation! My husband had to work the third shift, and so sadly he was the only missing piece. But it was like walking up to the flooded gates. I could see my spiritual father, my Pastor, from afar.
I tried to hold in my tears, but I couldn’t once I hugged him. We rejoiced because a daughter had returned home!Since I reconciled with, I haven’t looked back. God has blessed me and my home in so many ways! Our biggest blessing so far has been our baby boy, named Grayson Isaiah, born in February this year. Our blessings feel like the manifestations of all of heaven rejoicing over us.