My testimony is about faithfulness and trust leading to blessings and love. I remember one dark and lonely night suffering in immense pain, both physically and mentally over an untreated diagnosis. The symptoms carried on for a couple of days and with praying, trusting and believing, it did not get any better. As a matter of fact, I decided to take measures into my own hands with self-medication and overdosing because anything at that point would have been better than the pain I was feeling at the current moment.
Taking a step back, I was born and raised in the church. My uncle and grandfather were both pastors and we were raised in Southern Baptist churches. The kind where you had three closings, passed notes asking where we were going for lunch and had dinner after service was over. The churches where if you spoke too loud one of the mothers of the church was going to pop you before turning you over to your parents for them to discipline you too. So, I say that to say, I knew Christ. I was saved and baptized at a young age. I served in the church and loved Christ.
So, fast forwarding to my college days, why had God forsaken me? Better yet, why could I not hear His voice. Suddenly, what I learned and read and studied came back that dark and lonely night and I began to pray. It was at that moment when I realized God had NOT forsaken me and that He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me. I had to call out to God that night and tell Him that I could not hear or feel Him and that I needed Him right then and there to know that He hears me. I think God knew that it was a breaking point for me because it was like He laid a blanket of comfort over me that night. That was the first night in about 3-4 nights that I was able to sleep the entire night through and the pain went from 10/10, to a manageable 3/10 until ultimate recovery. After that night, I knew that God was closer than I gave Him credit for and since then I had a remarkable amount of faith in Him and I exercise that faith daily. That faith has led me to a healthy baby boy, a wonderful husband (In that order. It goes to show that even though I wasn’t always obedient God was still faithful), the purchase of our first home and unspeakable amount of help with our son since this is our first move away from both of our families. My husband and I both have great careers and our son is adjusting well to his new school. That visit one dark and lonely night has led to an indescribable lifetime of faithfulness, trust, love and blessings.