Balance

Dear Single Mom, 

With everything that is going on right now are you struggling with balance? Balance? Ha! What is that? To be honest, learning how to balance my life right now has been a nightmare. I have never had to work from home, be a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, and Christian all at the same time. Working from home has caused many roller coaster emotions to surface. Some people may love working from home, however I differ. I have a toddler who wants all my attention and time. Trying to balance being a full time employee and a full time mom has stretched me in ways I can’t even begin to express. I find myself dealing with many different emotions. 

Let’s discuss two of these emotions. Guilt! Oh guilt. This emotion creeps up so aggressively. How do you tell your two year old daughter, “Mommy can’t play patty cake with you right now?" “No, you can’t sit on mommy’s lap while I am working baby?"  Then here comes guilt!  Looking at the many sad faces she displays and temper tantrums. My heart breaks every single time. Yes, guilt likes to make you feel like you're failing as a mother and instills questions in your head like this. “So are you choosing work over your child?" "What kind of mother are you?" Work! I don’t know about you, but I feel as though I have been working ten times harder than I ever had to work before. I find myself feeling incapable of completing the necessary tasks that typically are not challenging for me. I have been feeling overwhelmed with the many duties and responsibilities of work. Where was my Balance? 

Anxious. Yes, anxiety. Let me first say God has delivered me from the spirit of anxiety! However, I had to remember that doesn’t mean that you won’t be tested in this area again. Trying to balance this new norm can cause many levels of stress. I was talking to one of my sisters in Christ who was sharing how hard balancing working from home was.  She shared that her home used to be her happy and peaceful place. Home was a place she would look forward to coming to after a long stressful day of work. Home was her release. I agreed with her because I could completely relate.  There were times where I just wanted to escape home, escape everything. I felt like a turtle who just wanted to be in my shell and not face anyone or any of my responsibilities. But, when I began to think i questioned,, what is my turtle shell? Where do I hide when I need to escape? Where do I hide when I am overwhelmed?  Where do I hide when I am filled with guilt and anxiety? Where do I hide when I need strength? I had to question myself, where is God on my list of priorities? Where was my balance? 

Dear single mom, let me encourage you today. You should find your protection within God. He should you be your hiding place. God should be the person you run to when you have had enough of the temper tantrums, enough of all the work stress, enough of all your responsibilities. When you feel overwhelmed and full of anxiety, run to the best protector of all. God is the answer to all balance. We have to stay connected to His word and pray to Him for guidance and strength. I’m not saying that you won’t have your days because trust me you will. But, we must know how to overcome these emotions and feelings and the best way is to go to your father who wants to help us!  1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you”. I encourage you all to keep God at the center of all you do and He will keep you balanced. 

Signed with Balance, 

Jovonna Coleman