Strength over Fear

When difficulties come our way either we run from God or to God. If we run from Him we’ll never know what He wanted to show us during our season. But if we run to Him we get to know Him better, love Him deeper, and trust Him wholeheartedly. If we never needed comfort, we wouldn’t get to know the Comforter. I remember my days and nights in the hospital room alone, feeling so down and not understanding why I couldn’t hear from God. I would pray, cry, and to be honest get angry because my visits to the hospital were usually long and my body would become weak. I would ask the Lord at times to just heal my mind because, I couldn’t stand thinking the way I was thinking. I couldn’t stand to believe I was just a sick body with no purpose in life. It was one night, which ended up becoming my regular nightly routine, I would get benadryl and morphine for my pain. I felt so numb that I couldn’t feel a single thing, but I heard the Lord whisper to me, “just worship." And that is what I did. I worshipped my God! Every night when the chaos of the hospital died down from all the busy nurses coming in and out poking me with their needles, giving me blood transfusions, taking me to get scans done and numbing my pain with high dosage of medications, I had my alone time with my father and I chose to worship HIM. That was how I communicated at times with HIM. I just couldn’t get my mind right to pray because, let’s be honest at times I just was not up to praying and half the time I was so medicated I couldn’t even think straight.  Just looking back brings me in tears knowing my God is forever faithful! See, I chose to trust HIM Because my God never left me. He was always there. He just wanted me to know that no matter how hard it may get to always lean on Him for His strength and to continue to Praise Him through it all. Don’t look at what is happening on the outside, instead look at what He is doing on the inside of you!  Sometimes, we listen to our symptoms more than we listen to the voice of God. A hurting body, grueling treatments, and many tests simply screaming sickness so loudly that we believe the lie. Many of us can’t get past our experiences, but I have had many fights with fear. I’ve had to learn how to align my thoughts, my actions, and my body with God’s promises and character in order to keep my peace, walk in faith, and receive my healing. I’ve learned firsthand that the Word of God is the only thing that can speak louder to me than the fear of death. “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT